difficult english

My English isn't very good, but I still decide to writing by English here.

I want to record that how I miss my cat.

But if I write by Chinese, the word gonna touch my heart that I start to cry.

and English is too difficult to me.

so, when I write, I have to check the dictionary, or think, think how describe my feeling.

thinking, thinking, keep thinking, thinking about every difficult things, so I don't cry.

my brain gonna so busy that i have no time to cry.